5 signs you might be in a toxic relationship, red flags that cannot be overlooked…

Highlights:  Signs that reveal you might be in a toxic relationship Psychological attitudes and behaviors to watch out for  Supported with research 

What if we tell you that what you have been thinking of as pretty usual in a relationship is actually toxicity? Something that is not healthy at all. Yes, it might be working, there might be disagreements from time to time, but it just leaves you drained almost always…in an unhappy state of mind. For some reason, it is just not going strong, and that has to be toxicity. Something that you do not realize often, but it's highly obvious, and let us put it straight- The Red flags.

Make sure you start noticing these in you, your partner, and the relationship. Here are the signs: 

Controlling behavior According to psychologist and mental health podcast host Andrea Bonior, Ph.D, “Controlling behavior on the part of a partner knows no boundaries- people of any age, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status can be in controlling relationships, playing either role.” 

This has to be the biggest red flag in a relationship, which makes it toxic for the other person to stand. 

It is often seen among some individuals, where they tend to have an attitude of control, which is often presented to be ‘love’. And it is not so. 

Per say, they want to know every time where are you and keep on checking constantly via texts and calls, without giving a chance to get back to them within time. 

They control what you wear, what you do, and who you spend your time with. 

If you have been through something like this, you might remember how irritating and annoying it turned for you.

This kind of behavior arises when an individual is jealous or simply lacks trust in their partner. Moreover, it has been observed that an extreme in these cases can lead to abuse.  

Watch out for these controlling signs in a partner, before you date: 

 

Disrespect Well, you won’t find that kind of disrespect only in ‘words’, you will observe it in patterns or their regularly performed actions. You might feel it is all completely normal, but long before you realize these are forms of disrespect. 

This can be observed in them, more than often. And it is not ‘forgetfulness’. Forgetting about events and things that matter to you or largely concern you, that's disrespect, not forgetfulness . 

Other behaviors might show them disrespecting your time, always making you wait, or not showing importance to you. 

They don’t keep up to their commitments or promises; somehow, you never know what they are up to and where you stand with them.

Here, you should remember that some people tend to forget things, or make any plans and are not able to show up always. If you talk to them, they might make changes and show improvement. If you realize that it’s unintentional, then you shall be fine, but if it still bothers you then you got to make things clear.

Look out for the signs that a partner doesn't respects you: 

 

A 2016 case study by D. Dunning and others examines ‘Respect’ as a whole, its psychology and anatomy. And how it impacts human behavior as well as action, psychologically as well as socially. More so, it enables people to conform to social norms and even treat others fairly[1]. 

Ignorance towards you This might pop up every once in a while. When you feel that your needs are constantly ignored, things going against your wishes and comfort. And you will observe that your partner is not concerned about it, rather shows an ignorant attitude.

The key signs include:

When they are not listening to you and your concerns actively, kind of dismissing your feelings, not being understanding, and being self-centered. 

Somehow, they consistently fail to acknowledge, understand, or respond to your emotional and practical needs.

If you and your partner are dealing with any such thing in your relationship, try to humble yourself first. Start talking to your close ones, seek for help. Try understanding each other, how one is feeling. Communicate and think before you say anything that might hurt. At such time, make sure you are there, involved in the daily life of the other being. This will drive away the ignorance[2]. 

Lack of support A healthy relationship follows mutual support towards one another, where there is a desire to watch out for the other, seeing them succeed and move ahead in life. On the contrary, when there is a toxicity everything is competitive between the two. 

The partner might not encourage you, be happy for your success, and may not show up for you. 

One might have an ‘envy’ towards the other’s success and restrains from thinking any positively about them.

Sooner, the time spend together doesn’t feels any positive, with no concern over each other’s needs and interests.  

Manipulation Occasional lies and constant manipulation, a big red flag: 

You might have often faced them making up lies, exaggerating certain things, bending the truth in some manner, or leaving out some important details so that you believe them and take an action that they want you to, or to get what they want from you. 

They might do it so that you continue ‘having a certain opinion of them’. Someone like this shall continue doing it even after knowing how much it hurts you.

A 2024 study published in the Journal of Education, Humanities and Social Sciences states how manipulative tactics of a partner can impact the emotional and psychological landscape of an individual.  Manipulative behaviors, especially emotional manipulation by a partner, severely affects the emotional and psychological well-being of the other individual[3]. 

These are some of the biggest toxic traits in a partner that you must never overlook. Things need to be avoided, but to a certain extent only. After all, they are only causing you harm, unnecessary trauma, and hurt. Better to talk first about what’s bothering you, wait for how they take it, and do the necessary to improve. Ensure working on it together. If it still doesn’t align, then better to make the right decision for yourself.